You ever heard the story that Jesus really didn’t die on the cross? I was waiting outside this coffee shop one time and had this conversation:
Hey, how’s it going?
Oh pretty good.. I’m blessed today. (me)
Blessed? You believe in Jesus don’t ya?
Well sure, Uh.. Yeah..
I don’t believe in Jesus.
See.. I know what really happened.
Let me tell ya a story:
Those guys’ back then in Iraq. They were monk’s and stuff. They were good at meditating and could put themselves into a deep trance. You know what I mean?
They would get so deeply into a trance that it would literally mimic death.
See, that’s what Jesus did.
When he saw the coming horrifing death he came up with this plan. He was a young dude and starting to get famous but he was tired of the limelight. So when they nailed him up he started meditating…And went into a deep trance.
They thought he was dead.
They took him down off the cross and put him in that rich guy’s tomb. He was all part of the plan you see.
Now, the diciples didnt’ know what was up. When they discovered what had happened they met with Jesus over at Peter’s crib.
They told him:
Jesus, if you don’t get the heck out of town right now they are going to cut your freakin’ HEAD OFF!
They snuck him off to Somalia somewhere and hid him out. He slowly assimilated back into society there and lived out the rest of his years.
You ever heard a story like that?
Hey, I’m quoting his story almost verbatim. Sure I used a little creative license but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. It’s a strange world huh?
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