Online Dating After Divorce – The Language

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Dating after divorce is radically different from single’s dating!  What? “I’VE CHANGED?” Yeah, that too… but man, there weren’t all these online dating sites back then and things have changed! I’m single again after a seventeen year marriage and trying to figure out all these dating sites, the acronyms, the mainstream ideas in dating, and what the heck is actually what out there! And, brother’s and sister’s, let me tell you, saying, “times have changed” is an understatement!

First, a bit about Beryl Powers: I’m female, late 40’s, not hit with the ugly forest but not drop dead gorgeous, either. Single again, with an elementary age child in residence, and starting over professionally, pursing my Master’s degree in Entrepreneurship and Legal Investigation. I’m a former English, Art and Journalism teacher and have been out of the world of work for over ten years. I’ve been married twice (the first time was a nine month marriage – a young kid mistake – no kids), and looking to marry only one more time.

Like many others, I’m looking for the one to spend the rest of my life with, not just the night! However, life in these United States has changed so unbelievable in the last twenty years, it’s hard to know how to go about finding a decent date. The first thing you have to know before you hit the dating sites, bars, text-to-knows, and singles meets is the new language of dating.

Everybody’s Online

Nearly everyone has a computer, a cell with internet access, a job that entails working on an internet accessible computer, or at least a local library from which they can access some dating sites (if the library hasn’t blocked them all, that is! Some don’t even allow Facebook anymore!).  So, the majority of those in the dating world (after age 21, that is) turn to dating sites. It’s hard to go to bars if you don’t drink, some of those church people are downright fanatics, and meeting in a laundry mat or at the grocery store??? Like that’s going to happen! If a guy hits on a gal in a grocery store lately, they cry assault! So… we seem to turn to dating sites so we can browse men or women (or both, as the case may be) with relative anonymity and from the safety and comfort of our own home. The problem is, knowing what all the words mean!!

Dating Lingo Acronyms

Let’s start with the acronyms: easy ones first! Most, if not all of us internet users know the standard acronyms, but I have to mention them just in case there are a few you don’t recognize: lol, lmao, lmfao, rotflmfao, brb, l8r, afk, rofl, cu, ttfn, ttyl, awc, cu/fs, and so many more… if you don’t recognize one, ask me, I’ll fill you in. It’s the harder acronyms that I had to figure out recently: fwb, bbw (which has several meanings, I’ve found out… context and connotations mean everything in today’s dating language!), aca, p, pb, bb, sbf, sbm, swf, swm, dwf, dwm, tg, ts, wltm, wtr, hwp, gsoh and on and on and on! If you really want as complete a list as I can make, let me know… maybe we can make an Online Dictionary of Dating Language for Dummies! Is it as confusing to a newbie as I think it is? I’m not a newbie to online dating, but some of these things, I have to sit there and think, “gsoh? gsoh? g? um… what the heck??” (Good Sense of Humor, for those not in the “know” like I was at first!)

Then there is “IRL”. Now, this one, I figured out, but simply don’t understand why it would even be used! It stands for “In Real Life” — okay, you are online, is that not real life? To many people, what they do online is in no way, “Real Life” and they can do whatever the heck they want, and be damned with the consequences!!

Dating Profiles…Who are these people?

“It’s only an online dating site, they don’t have to know who I REALLY am!” Oh man… learning to read the language of a profile is incredibly empowering!

  • “I’m easy to get along with” — typically means easy to get into bed;
  • “I’m a Christian” — means I don’t fuck until I am married;
  • “I’m living life to the fullest after my divorce” — means I’m sleeping around, you better catch me before I find the one I like best!
  • “Honest and Reliable” means they have been cheated on and left, so watch out, extra baggage!!
  • “Kind and Caring” means they have hidden tendencies to torment…

I could go on and on and on! Dating language today is so very different, it takes a semanticist to figure out what is behind the words! If people would just represent themselves as they truly are, it would make life a lot simpler!


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A List of Online Dating Acronyms

A    Asian

ACA    All calls answered

AL    Animal lover

AQU    Aquarius

A/S/L    Age/Sex/Location?

AARI    Aries

B&D    Bondage and domination

B    Black

BB    Body builder

BBW    Big beautiful woman

BF    Boyfriend

BHM    Big handsome man

BHM    Bald headed man

BI    Bi-sexual

BIF    Bi-sexual female

BIM    Bi-sexual male

C    Couple

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C    Christian

CAN    Cancer

CAP    Capricorn

CD    Cross-dresser

CU    See you

D    Divorced

D46?    Down for sex?

DDF    Drug and disease free

DF    Drug free

DOB    Date of birth

Dom    Dominate male

Domme    Dominate female

FA    Fat acceptance

FS    Financially secure (or stable)

FTA    Fun, travel, and adventure

FTTB    For the time being

G    Gay

GC    Gay couple

GEM    Gemini

GF    Girlfriend

GSOH    Good sense of humor

HWP    Height weight proportional

IPT    Is partial to

IRL    In real life

ISO    In searchof

J     Jewish

K    Kids

L    Lesbian

LD    Light drinker

LDR    Long distance relationship

LIB    Libra

LS    Light smoker

LTR    Long term relationship

Abbreviation    Meaning

M    Married

MC    Married couple

MBL    Married but looking

ND    No drugs

NM    Never married

NS    Non-smoker

P    Professional

P    Petite

PIS    Pisces

RTS    Real time sex

S    Single

SAE    Self addressed envelope

SA/F    Single Asian female

SA/M    Single Asian male

SAG    Sagittarius

SB/F    Single black female

SB/M    Single black male

SCO    Scorpio

SD    Social drinker

SI    Similar interests

SOH    Sense of humor

Sub    Submissive

SW/F    Single white female

SW/M    Single white male

TAU    Taurus

TG    Transgendered

TS    TransSexual

VGL    Very good looking

VIR    Virgo

W4W    Woman for Woman

WAA    Will answer all

WI    Widowed

WLTM    Would like to meet

W/O    Without

WTR    Willing to relocate

X    Extreme (may indicate extreme adult situations)

Y    You (or Your)

YO    Years old

Thinking of trying online dating after your divorce?  Jump right in! And know the language! :)

2 Responses to “Online Dating After Divorce – The Language”

  • I just like that dictionary of yours:
    “I’m easy to get along with” — typically means easy to get into bed;
    “I’m a Christian” — means I don’t fuck until I am married;
    “I’m living life to the fullest after my divorce” — means I’m sleeping around, you better catch me before I find the one I like best!

    Very true…

  • HippieChick:

    Thank you! I was recently perusing OKCupid profiles of both men and women, and came up with some more definitions for my dictionary:

    “Quiet and shy” — until you get me alone, and I’ll attack you…
    “Contemplative and Communicative” — Obsessive Compulsive
    “Active in the community” — busy-body
    “Laid-Back Cowboy” — Lazy when it comes to cleaning up after himself
    “Open to New Experiences” — often includes threesomes or moresomes!
    “Searching for my one and only” — searching for someone to brow beat
    “Tired of people who lie and cheat” — hurt too bad, stay away until they are divorced at least four years

    If they have been divorced for more than six years, something is REALLY wrong!
    If they have been married three or more times, DON’t be the next victim!

    I’ll post another blog about Profile’s later this week!


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