You ever go to a new doctor and fill out a little questionnaire? It will ask you lots of questions about your lifestyle.
Smoking, drugs, booze, sex ETC.
All that fun stuff
- How many alcoholic drinks do you have per week?
- Do you smoke? How much?
- What is your eating habits?
- Do you use drugs for recreation?
What? Did I read that right?
Do you use drugs for recreation?
Well of course not doc. Why in the world would I want to do that?
Recreational DRUGS? NO!!!!
Doctor: Do you smoke?
I smoke socially doc. Only when I’m at a party having some drinks. *lying
Doctor: So your a “light” smoker. How much do you drink?
Oh just a couple beers here and there. *lying
Doctor: How are your eating habits?
Well, I eat salads and lots of fruit. Never anything fried. *lying
Doctor: So what can I do for you?
Keeping it Real
Well, let’s see here doc. I drink every night after work. I stop and get some beers and a box of wine for weekdays. I don’t want to drink to much beer because of the calories so I move to wine after 3 or 5.
I roll a number and then when I got a good driving buzz I usually head out for some dinner. The Big Mac super club is typically my favorite because of the cheap value meals
Then I stop by my homeys crib to get something to get me threw the rest of the evening… If ya know what I’m sayin’
Then I hit the bars and stay out till the lights come on. Unless I have a job then I try to get home by midnight. The goal of course is to find somebody to bring home and have unprotected sex.
Doctor: What about the weekends?
A conversation like that would be crazy wouldn’t it?
You might be surprised. My bet is that most people don’t reveal the truth and nothing but the truth to their doctor.
Are you TOTALLY honest with your doctor?
I used to lie to mine – But I found a way to get out of it
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