The Gospel of Benny Hinn?

Benny Hinn
Image by gregkendallball via Flickr

I have been thinking a lot about the gospels that are preached on television in conjuncture with my own personal struggles with life and financial obligations.. Benny Hinn is certainly one of the most famous and I had a little idea! This is a rework of an old post from 2008… See, I was unemployed.

In my ongoing quest to make enough money to survive I considered finding a job with a major TV ministry. I have believed the Bible for many years and thought that perhaps these guys could use an unskilled ex party animal junkie like myself to help further their cause.

They seem to generate a lot of capital so adding me to the staff somehow could help me get out of this self inflicted financial mess… (or ½ self inflicted, I had PLENTY of help getting there)

I thought of a good position for me…. I could be a “catcher” during the Benny Hinn rallies. You know… He’s the guy that is standing behind the person that faints from God’s awesome power when Benn waves his hand at them. They catch the person that is ‘slain in the spirit’ I think that would be a good job for me because I know I ain’t gonna be falling down – ya dig?

Now where would I apply for a job like that?

Are The Beatles Overrated?

Beatles Suck?I was talking with this musician. He said he didn’t like the Beatles. He said that he only likes maybe 3 or 4 good songs from their entire catalog. Wing’s stuff included.

“They are overrated.” He said

I said.”What?”

“You heard me.”

I guess so.  I was practicing some selective hearing there. It always freaks me out when I hear that kind of thing. Only 3 good songs.  Very strange. (more…)

Does a Flu Shot Give You the Flu?

flu shot
Image by Fuschia Foot via Flickr

Here we are: FLU season.  So, here’s the question of the day.
Are you going to get a flu shot this year?
No man, when you get a flu shot and it GIVES you the flu!

What?

You go get a flu vaccine.

Later that day — You got the fu. PERIOD. (more…)

Astrology Predicts Addiction – Harvest Moon

Astrology Addiction

Image via Wikipedia

Can Astrology predict if your gonna be addicted to drugs and  and alcohol? Maybe… I had a rather interesting experience on my birthday.

Check It:

I was hanging out on the phone last night with a dear friend under the Harvest Moon. We were talking about life, addiction, astrology, relationships, spirituality, ya know, all that fun stuff

I didn’t know it was the harvest moon

So I decided to take a look at it and see what it was all about.  While surfing around I came across this daily astrology blog.  (I subscribed) I found her post for my birthday  quite interesting.

Allow Me to Quote:

Meanwhile, the “Tender, Compassionate” Pisces Moon is tending to the last of her “prayer requests.” We may want to do likewise (Pisces rules our “link to the Divine”). Later, the Pisces Moon will be restocking the “oceanic bar” with a fresh, 30-day supply of liquor, which she fears may not be enough to last out the whole month now with “Always Thirsty” Jupiter back into Pisces “inebriated waters, “alongside that very “Erratic Drinker” Uranus. Jupiter conjoined Uranus in “drinking hole” Pisces can give a rich “fondness for alcohol” since Pisces rules liquor. Jupiter is also not known “for moderation,” especially when conjoined with Impulsive Uranus who also has difficulty “tempering his impulses.” If we normally have “problems holding our liquor” we may be well-advised to “leave it alone,” for awhile, particularly while this “potent aspect” is in operation.
Cosmic Life Coach

Pretty  “Cosmic” Indeed

Check out  the  keywords!

OK… You cat’s that know me  understands that I don’t hold my liquor very well.  Uh…Let me rephrase that:

I can’t hold my liquor at all.

So you can see that I was quite amazed by that post.  Now let’s see here.. Maybe I should check out today’s post…  Uh… ……  …….

Well…Uh…. I’ll do it later… You dig?

Until then I think I’ll take her tip:
“Leave it Alone”
today. 🙂

Musician Job Interview Questions

Classic Albums Realised in LEGO (Wish You Were...
Image by ….Tim via Flickr

Looking for a job? Well, us musicians may have another approach at dealing with  interview questions than normal humans. Sometimes a Hipster has to be prepared ya know?

It’s pretty tough out there. I was unemployed for quite awhile. It was during this time that that I threw these blogs together. I  thought I’d just sit around and write wacky stuff and get paid.

Not gonna happen

I’d make more working at McDonald’s

So are you prepared when you go to an interview?

I had no idea what kind of questions they would ask.  After doing some research I found these favorites that can be difficult to answer. I will attempt to give it a shot.

Interview Q/A for Musicians

Tell me about yourself.
Well, I’m a spacey guy and I like Pink Floyd

Why should I hire you?
Because I’ll get along famously with all your other employees. The only problem we may have is which radio station to listen to on the assembly line.

What is your long-range objective?
To make your
job easier! You would not have to interview anybody else. And if ya hire me then I can get that new guitar I been checking out.

How has your education prepared you for your career?
My public education was limited, so I supplemented it by studying other subjects on the side. How else would I know so much about the Beatles?

Are you a team player?
Absolutely! When I play  in my band I do my best to make sure we are all playing in the same key.

Have you ever had a conflict with a boss?
Yeah.. A few times. But he usually persuaded me to come along to his way of seeing things – He would show me  company policy statements. Then I would put him on the guest list for our next show.

What is something you would change about your life?
I would have not been so into the old school 60’s acid rock and been more into hair metal.  Like all my musical colleagues  growing up.

If your not a musician you could try a different approach for a job interview.

Like This Guy:

Did Jesus Die on a Cross?

You ever heard the story that Jesus really didn’t die on the cross? I was waiting outside this coffee shop one time and had this conversation:

Jesus
Image via Wikipedia

Hey, how’s it going?
Oh pretty good.. I’m blessed today. (me)
Blessed? You believe in Jesus don’t ya?
Well sure, Uh.. Yeah..
I don’t believe in Jesus.
Hmmm? Uh….
See.. I know what really happened.
You do??

Let me tell ya a story:

Those guys’ back then in Iraq. They were monk’s and stuff. They were good at meditating and could put themselves into a deep trance.  You know what I mean?

They would get so deeply into a trance that it would literally mimic death.

See, that’s what Jesus did.

When he saw the coming horrifing death he came up with this plan. He was a young dude and starting to get famous but he was tired of the limelight.  So when they nailed him up he started meditating…And went into a deep trance.

They thought he was dead.

They took him down off the cross and put him in that rich guy’s tomb. He was all part of the plan you see.

Now, the diciples didnt’ know what was up. When they discovered what had happened they met with Jesus over at Peter’s crib.

They told him:

Jesus, if you don’t get the heck out of town right now they are going to cut your freakin’ HEAD OFF!

They snuck him off to Somalia somewhere and hid him out. He slowly assimilated back into society there and lived out the rest of his years.

You ever heard a story like that?

Hey, I’m quoting his story almost verbatim. Sure I used a little creative license but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.  It’s a strange world huh?